Mon 20 Sep 2004 @22:10
“Doctor?”
“What’s the Beef?”
“It looks like Mad Cow.”
The patient was lying on a Guernsey. “Looks like you got a Bum Steer,” I observed.
“Don’t give me that Bull,” he replied.
“So what are you Hereford?”
“Got Milk?”
“Heifer Pete’s sake, I’m a doctor. Don’t you see the Sheepskin?”
“What Cow College did you go to?”
“Charolais.”
“Charlie’s? Holy Cow!”
“No. Charolais. Besides, I’m pretty sure that would be a Brahman.”
“Well, I guess I stepped in that Cow Patty.”
“Don’t call me Patty. Tell me how you Veal.”
“Gee, you’re Bossie. I feel so fine.”
“More like Bovine, it seems to me.”
“You’re not Calf as funny as you think you are.”
“Don’t have a Cow, man.”
“Maybe I’d better book.”
“Leather-bound?”
“I’m not sure where I’m bound, but I’m not trying to Hide.”
“And you’re not running from the Longhorn of the law?”
“No. I made Baal. I’m gonna Hoof-n-Mouth off.”
“There’s no need to get Angus.”
“Hey, let go. You Toro my Jersey.”
“Sorry. I didn’t want you to start a Stampede. And I haven’t given you my bill.”
“I’m sure you’re going to Milk this for all it’s worth.”
“Bullseye. You owe me a Buffalo Nickel.”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever Herd.”
September 21st, 2004 at 07:29
Oh noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. You’re going to the punitentiary.
I knew you were a carnivore, but dang!
(Actually, I thought it was pretty funny.)
September 22nd, 2004 at 21:00
The punitentiary? Sounds like a very small place. I don’t think I would like it. But who does like being CORRALLED? You must have me BRANDED as some kind of nutcase! Darn, I just remembered I was going to work RODEO CLOWN in there. Oh well, maybe there will be a rewrite someday.
I know I’m not normal….
September 22nd, 2004 at 22:23
i fear clowns.
anything but clowns.
don’t send in the clowns.
i knight thee sir loin of beef, though.
chew on that!!!
September 24th, 2004 at 15:48
I was going to work on some poultry-related puns, but I didn’t want to egg you on.
Have a nice weekend.