otoh

For many years my reaction to Valentine’s Day was, “Bah Humbug!” I often thought we should have a character like Scrooge to express the anti-Valentine’s sentiment. But it occurred to me that that’s just about every man, certainly the unattached or insecurely attached ones, and more and more often includes the unattached women I know. I expect the blogosphere today to be filled with diatribes against those who have done us wrong and lamentations for those by whom we wish we had done better. There’s no doubt that the day has been co-opted by the candy, flower, and greeting card companies. That too makes for easy fodder, but what holiday is not overcommercialized these days? Recently, though, I’ve reached an uneasy truce with the get sappy brigade.

Ironically, my revelation came from an academic protest. It seems that some parents complained that publishing the names of honor roll students might be embarrassing to students that did not achieve the status. [An urban legend has grown around this indicating that schools have stopped creating honor rolls in response to the threat of lawsuits. The research I have done so far indicates that there were indeed some protests, but no school has stopped the tradition of honor rolls because of it. At least one school district did delay posting an honor roll when their lawyer adivsed them that they should have written permission of the honor roll student's parents before publishing the student's names.]

Anyway, the quick-to-litigate nearly always piss me off as do parents that coddle their children beyond reason. Does selecting an MVP for a sports team embarrass the rest of the team? Should we not post election results so the also-rans can feel better about themselves? Shouldn’t the students that did NOT make honor roll learn to congratulate their classmates for the accomplishment? And perhaps take it as a challenge to improve their own performance?

And so the onslaught of merchandising to romantic couples might make singles feel left out. We might feel discouraged and depressed — perhaps even embarrassed by our perceived “failure”. Instead, I’m learning to congratulate those lucky few that have romance in their lives. There are so few really good marriages (or other long-term commitments), I am happy for those who are able to manage it. I’ve been with enough of the wrong ones that I am more comfortable being alone. For now, I choose to be unattached, but that does not not give me the right to suggest that Valentine’s Day should be abolished or even diminished to keep me from feeling uncomfortable with that choice.

Go Cupid!