Living in Dangerous Times (and Places)

Central Florida is in many ways a beautiful place to live. But every orange has its pits.

We get most of our rain in the months of June through September. So right now we’re near the end of the dry season and wildfires (which can flare up any time of year) are common. Thousands of acres and several homes burn every year. Since last year’s rainy season was below average, this year looks to be especially toasty. Florida currently has six large wildfires ranging from about 350 acres to 5000 acres. Oddly enough though, most of the smoke I was breathing last week was wafting down from Georgia which has a few fires going too. [Georgia secretly wants to be more like Florida.]

Lake levels are low and it’s alligator mating season, both of which mean that gators are more likely to be wandering about looking for food and um… tail. Keep your pets and children on higher ground. The state will remove around 6000 “nuisance alligators” each year. Some can be relocated; others are euthanized. But as scary-looking and pervasive as they are, alligators naturally avoid human contact for the most part and there are very few human deaths as a result — fewer than one per two years on average. But really nasty bites are almost assured if you are stupid or careless enough to get too close. It’s against the law to feed wild gators, but it boggles my mind a bit that we need a law to tell people that’s a bad idea…. Don’t poke one with a stick [or anything else] either.

Within a few weeks though we should be “enjoying” afternoon and evening thunderstorms almost every day. That should raise the water level in the lakes and lower the risk of wildfires. Thunderstorms also mean lightning. The lightning capitol of the U.S. of A. is right here in Central Florida. And if you think gators are scary, lightning is the real killer — about 25 times more deadly and that’s no croc[k]. Lightning actually kills more people in Central Florida every year than all other weather-related causes combined. More than drowning, tornadoes, hurricanes, wind, and cold. (Cold? Yeah, it happens.)

We’ve had a couple tornadoes around lately too, but nothing like the recent devastation in tornado alley. Tornadoes are insidious. They may pop in and out with little or no warning. June is the beginning of hurricane season, always a good time. Hurricanes are kind of the one-stop shopping of weather disasters. They share the bill with lightning, flooding, tornadoes, and a mighty wind. What the hell, throw in a little hail once in a while too. And they are BIG. But at least we can see them coming.

You may have noticed that I haven’t mentioned the most horrible disaster to hit Central Florida every year: waves of tourists. Pray for us….