Talking to the Animals

It seems like I’ve been reading a lot of posts recently based on conversations with roommates, children, and other family members. I live with two dogs and hundreds of miles from most of my family. There’s only so much that goes on at work that I think it’s safe to share here. [Or that I think you would put up with reading....] I’ve lead a pretty limited social life lately. And the conversations in my head rarely make sense enough to write about. All that severely limits the conversations I can share every day.

I’m no Dr. Dolittle. [I'm more of a Mr. Donotmuchofanythingatall.] But I can talk to animals. I talk to my dogs every day. [Okay, I'm mostly talking to myself. But they are frequently in the room at the time....] I’m certain that they understand me. [Everyone understands English if we speak loudly and slowly enough and repeat the same phrases. Right?] I have definitive proof that they understand. Unless you think that proof means that I can tell them to do something and they do it. Because mostly they don’t. But they do roll their eyes with that “whatever” sigh while continuing to lie around in whatever position they were lying around in. And that’s exactly what most of my students do so who could ask for more definitive proof than that?

I have pet names for my pets. I mean they each have a name, but I also have nicknames for them that I use almost as often as their “real” names. They are the Pooter Dog and Peanut Pup, or just Pooter and Peanut. I sometimes call both of them [or is that either of them?] Doofus. And while I’m untangling a tie out or telling them they really have to go inside because, “I have to go to work to work,” that often mutates into Doofalus Mookalus. Oh, and I call them Baby or my girls. They respond about equally well [or not] to just about whatever I call them.

I know that they do understand some words and I’m pretty sure they understand more than they let on. If I say, “Wanna go for a ride?” I get an enthusiastic affirmative response. I’m really lucky that they both travel well because a couple times a year I put them in the backseat and drive from Central Florida to visit family in the Louisville, KY area — easily a 12 to 15 hour trip depending on traffic, weather, and the number and length of stops on the way. Neither of my pups has ever gotten car sick and usually they will lie down and let me drive pretty much straight through. [By the way, can anyone explain to me why backseat and backyard are each one word while front seat and front yard are each two words? I know it shouldn't, but that really bothers me.]

They also have learned some things about my schedule and habits. They know that if I’m putting on shoes it means that I’m going out — I almost never wear shoes around the house. And I’ve learned a bit from them too, but that is another post.