Smoking is a filthy, disgusting habit. I hope you never start — or I hope you stop soon if you smoke now.
But… [everyone should have at least one vice, right?] I enjoy an occasional cigar. Especially as the weather (finally!) is turning a little cooler and I can sit outside comfortably. I never smoke inside my house or car. I don’t encourage smoking (see the start of this post)… well almost never. At the Halloween party on Saturday, with the permission of the hostess, I brought along a box of cheap cigars to share. They were integral to one of my costume ideas that I ended up not using. [Gee, could I be more obscure?]
Lest you think that was all I brought to the party [aside from my charm and sparkling wit, of course] I also brought Triscuit crackers with cream cheese and jalapeño pepper jelly. It sounds weird [um, it's me, remember?], but the pepper jelly [don't get just plain pepper jelly, make sure it's hot pepper jelly] has a bite to it that’s tempered by the cream cheese. It’s hot. It’s cool.
Anyway, I left the box of cigars out on the balcony. And someone actually asked me [I can't believe they lobbed me such a soft one], “Cigars? Did someone have a baby?” To which I quickly [eagerly] replied, “Yes! It’s a ghoul.” [sparkling wit at the ready!] Really. I slay myself. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. And I was not drinking. Maybe just a tad short of oxygen?
At least I didn’t set my hair on fire.
Please do not spook unless spooken to.
5 Responses to “One of the Hot Things at the Party”
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Let's do Something Cheap and Superficial 
Can I just say how much I LOOOVE cream cheese and jalapeno jelly? My uncle made it at Christmas a couple years ago and I fell in love.
YUM.
I wish I had some right now. How’s about you bring some over?
If I bring some over, does that mean you’ll think of me as your uncle? ~Tim
HAHAHAHA!!! Tim, you’re so witty–I love it!!
I can never think of stuff that fast!
–snow
Well, I have to admit that the “It’s a ghoul” line occurred to me before the party. But until I got set up for it I had decided not to use it. ~Tim
Cigar, costume?
let me guess…
Groucho Marx?
Bill Clinton?
Fidel Castro?
Yeah, I considered Groucho. I so would have enjoyed quoting him ad-nauseum all night! ~Tim
I totally totally love triscuits with cream cheese and jalepeno jelly… if you warm the jelly first… OH MY GOSH sooo good… YUM… I need some now… *sigh*
Ooh, I’ll have to try that. ~Tim
I’m thinking it had to be Clinton with the cigars, but I have to admit that joke is actually pretty damn funny:)
I don’t think I’d want to even pretend to be a politician. Glad you like the joke. ~Tim