Alaska Laughs*

*This is NOT a political post. I finished those up back here.

I am reminiscing about my summer trip to Alaska… because it’s colder here this week than it was there in June and because I think I would rather be anywhere but here right now and because can’t we all use a laugh [or threee]? And I’m not going to write anything about the fact that I was in Wasilla briefly, except that I was and had no idea their governor was from there….

ONE:
In Denali, there are lots of shrubs on the tundra. We noticed that the bark was eaten away on them several feet off the ground. Naturally, we wondered if the moose or elk eat the bark in addition to the foliage. We saw tons of snowshoe hares but, unless there were mutants that were MUCH larger there was no way they could be responsible for munching at that height. What we had failed to consider was the snow. Since we were there in June, most of the snow was gone. But it was indeed the hares that had eaten the bark while they were standing on several feet of snow. And as the snow melts, they eat lower and lower off the shrubs. And [are you ready for this?] we learned that the tour bus drivers refer to that area of the bark being munched as a receding hare line.

TWO:
After spending three days in a mostly primitive campground we went to the Mercantile Laundry and Shower Facility [and Dump Station, but that's another story...] because showers could be had for $4.00 each — real showers with hot running water, which after three days we needed. So the deal is you go into the Riley Creek Mercantile Camper Convenience Store and pay the money and they give you a key to one of the shower stalls and a towel. So the three of us [is the number three popping up an unusual number of times in this post?] went in and I say to the clerk, “We want three showers.” And he says to me, “Will they be together or separate?” … … … … “Um, we each want one…” … “Do you want me to ring them up together or separately?” Whew! So the question wasn’t as personal as I thought…. [We were three single men vacationing together -- is there something weird about that?]

THREEE:
When we went climbing on the glacier there was a guy in our group that was going to be best man at a wedding the next day. [The next day being June 21 -- summer solstice, which you need to know for the punchline to make sense. I hope this does not ruin it for you....] He knew that he needed to make a toast at the reception, but did not know for sure what he wanted to say. I suggested, “If you thought today was the longest day, just wait till you’ve experienced a day of being married….” Really, sometimes I slay myself. [And really, is it any surprise that I am still single? You don't need to answer that....]

Laugh, laugh, laugh….