The Last Ought, Nought, or Oh I’ll Ever See

Eve… Is That You?

2009 begins tomorrow. Do you call it “two-thousand and nine”? I say it is “twenty oh nine” [or "twenty ought nine" if I'm feeling especially priggish puckish]. Since I am not likely to still be alive when the 22^nd century rolls around, this is the last of the ought-years I will see. Hmm, better make sure I irritate as many people as possible with it this time around….

Does anyone remember what candy claimed the year 2000 as their own? [And yes, I did call it "two-thousand" like everyone else rather than "twenty-hundred." You were wondering that, right?] Here’s a hint on the candy. it was IX years ago…. I thought it was very clever, but I got the impression that that ad campaign didn’t go over very well.

See you tomorrow next year!

Boy Dogs want to Rassle

We had 18 people and six dogs together for Christmas dinner. Four of the dogs are female and… mature. Two of the dogs are boys… young boys. Thank goodness they had each other to play with!

They would play like this for hours and come in covered in slobber! But they both slept well.

I’ll Smile When I Call You This

Back here I said:

Here’s another puzzle. The last one was really difficult. I don’t think this one is. I could be wrong — maybe I just don’t explain it well….

There are two letters that form names when they sandwich seven different vowel sounds: long A, short A, long E, short E, long O, short O, and double OO. [Again, those are the sounds, not necessarily the spelling.]

Who are all these people?

Maybe I didn’t explain it well…

The two letters are J and N which gives us Jane, Jan, Jean, Jen, Joan, John, and June.

All the Angels Sing

I really thought I had written a post about Christmas music each of the last few years. Turns out [according to my archives] I did not write one last year. It was two years ago when I wrote this one with a fairly good list of what I was listening to and what I recommend. I wouldn’t change any part of that list.

The most notable of my recent Christmas music acquisitions are Jingle All the Way by Bela Fleck and the Flecktones, This Christmas by Aretha Franklin, and Come Darkness Come Light: Twelve Songs of Christmas by Mary Chapin Carpenter. Each of these artists has a pretty distinctive style and if you like their other work you’re pretty sure to like these too.

My favorite in this group is Mary Chapin Carpenter. She has such a warm, soulful voice and it shines perfectly in this collection of new songs with a few traditional ones. The Longest Night of the Year, Christmas Time in the City, and Still, Still, Still are all good songs. My most favorite though is Hot Buttered Rum [I might even have to try the drink...]. I can listen to this whole album over and over.

I have to say though that I get a chuckle from the last track on Aretha’s new effort. It’s a variation on ‘Twas the Night Before Christmas. Give a listen:

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Happy Christmas to all [plus whatever other holidays you choose to celebrate, of course] and to all a good night!

Just What You Need for the Holidays! Yes it is. Yes it is. Yes it is….

Keera Ann Fox from A Roll in the Universe recently posted this video called Validation. I’m pretty sure I’ve never watched anything else on YouTube that lasts 16 minutes [including credits... and you do watch the credits, don't you?] but this one is pretty entertaining and fits well with the holiday season.

Of course, in my twisted little mind I couldn’t help but be reminded of this from Monty Python:

Ho ho ho [and Hee hee hee!] Hey, did you know that Monty Python now has their own channel on YouTube?

Smile When You Call Me That

Here’s another puzzle. The last one was really difficult. I don’t think this one is. I could be wrong — maybe I just don’t explain it well….

There are two letters that form names when they sandwich seven different vowel sounds: long A, short A, long E, short E, long O, short O, and double OO. [Again, those are the sounds, not necessarily the spelling.]

Who are all these people?

Feeling the Burn

There is a scene in Jane Wagner’s “The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe” [performed magnificently by Lily Tomlin] in which one of her characters [Agnus] says,

I want to share something vital
I just read in this self-help book
I took from the trash can
in the ladies’ room at the
House of Pancakes.
Will, by G. Gordon Liddy,
Master of the Watergate caper.

My new guru.
Who,when holding his hand
over a lit candle said,
“The trick is not to mind it.”

There follows a rant on things she says she doesn’t mind and then:

For life
is like that candle flame
and we
are like Gordon Liddy’s hand
hovering
over it.

And it hurts
like hell,

but the trick

is not

to mind it.

…

…

I MIND IT!

[If you ever get the chance to see her do this show, you must jump at it!]

There is stuff going on that I wish I did not mind. I thought I was going to write in more detail about that in this post, but I’m going to go do something Christmassy instead. Maybe that’s the trick to not minding….

Paralysis

At the other end of the spectrum from falling or sliding out of control is paralysis — not being able to move at all. Twice in my life I have injured my right arm [the good one] and had temporary loss of its use. [I am still going to PT twice a week for the most recent misadventure. I see improvement every week, which is encouraging. The nerve damage is pretty much healed, but there is still scar tissue around the shoulder that limits my range of motion.]

There are few things as frustrating as body parts that don’t work correctly. [Get your mind out of the gutter! You now who you are.] Normal aging is bad enough, but when injury or disease takes motion away suddenly it changes your perspective. I’m lucky. What I’m dealing with now is fixable and being fixed. I know people who are in much more dire circumstances.

A couple weeks ago I had a dream that woke me with a start. The gist of it was that I was in a close, confined space. I should have been able to let myself out simply by pulling a switch under my right hand. Except that I couldn’t. I couldn’t move my hand and as a result I couldn’t move any part of my body. I was completely trapped. And panicked. And woke up. ‘Sucks! Right?

Yeah, I gots issues. I had a point too. Let me look for it….

Slip Slidin’ Away

I don’t remember how old I was, but it was during the years that my brother and I shared a room with bunk beds. One night I dreamed I was falling off a cliff… and rolled out of the top bunk. I wasn’t hurt. I climbed back up and went back to sleep. But that sensation of falling… of being out of control… sticks with me.

Some people think I’m a control freak. Pick a reason: I’m a teacher [my classroom, my rules]. I’m [still!] single. Or… they just know me. Whatever. Without arguing the point I will say that I am very uncomfortable with the sensation of falling or slipping or skidding… ugh!

Ever been in a car that’s sliding on ice? I have — both as a passenger and as a driver. Creeps me out. Cars aren’t supposed to move sideways! The brake is supposed to stop them. The steering wheel is supposed to steer them. I’m not wrong about this!

There have been times when my life was sliding out of control. Let’s just say those were very uncomfortable times and leave it at that for now. And lately, the road ahead has been looking a bit icy. Yikes!

Letter Perfect Answer

Without knowing the story behind this puzzle, I think it is pretty difficult. So I’ll explain.

To review — I said these letters share a unique characteristic:

c
g
q
w
y

Any guesses?

The explanation: During a word game [Scrabble maybe -- not that it matters really] someone played a word like “ess” [although it easily could have been any of several others besides ess -- again, not that it matters]. “Ess” may refer to anything that is shaped liked the letter S but it also refers to the actual letter S and to the way the letter S is pronounced. One of my nephews objected that spelling the pronunciation of the letter S using the letter S is the same as using a word in the definition of itself [which we have all been taught not to do].

While I understand his point, it got me thinking that most letters are used in spelling how to pronounce themselves. In fact, there are several letters I can’t think of any way not to use the letter in pronouncing itself. [Can you think how to describe the pronunciation of "B," for example, without using "B" in pronouncing it? We only get the "B" sound with a "B"....] So I decided to look them all up. [Using a different authority might provide slightly different results, but I rather doubt it.]

I used the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary just because that’s the one I use most often. According to that source, these are the only five letters for which spelling the pronunciation does not include the letter itself:

c = ˈsē
g = ˈjē
q = ˈkyü
w = ˈdə-bəl-(ˌ)yü, ˈdə-bə-; ˈdəb-(ˌ)yü, -yə; ˈdəb-yē
y = ˈwī