Ah, but Who Would Want to Listen to You, Kissing his Existence Good Night

I have a bad habit. Almost every work-day morning I stop at a 7-11 and buy coffee and a donut. Breakfast of champions it ain’t. I know.

But here’s the thing. Two store-fronts over from the 7-11 is a Starbucks and nearly every week some poor schmuck parks across the street, pays five times as much for his/her coffee as I pay for mine, and then starts to walk back across the street RIGHT IN FRONT OF ONCOMING TRAFFIC! They are halfway between two intersections. Both intersections have crosswalks and signs warning drivers to yield to pedestrians.

Have they not read Fulghum? Do they not realize that I have not drunk my coffee yet either and would dearly love [most mornings] to run their TSTL* asses over? I grudgingly happily yield to pedestrians in the crosswalks. In the middle of the block, you’re pushing the limits of my bleary-eyed good graces.

Maybe we all need one of those Jack Bauer alarm clocks — it screams, “You’re running out of time!!!”

Maybe not.

*TSTL = Too Stupid To Live

*