How are you?
When we say that as a greeting we usually don’t really want to know. Especially if you are not doing well. Save the laundry list of aches and pains, troubles and sorrows for your doctor, okay? Here’s a dime prepaid phone card, call someone who cares.
I never listen to talk radio. By coincidence though when flipping through channels recently I heard someone proclaiming that we should just stop using the phrase as a greeting. Dude, get over it.
Many years ago a friend told me about a friend of his who always answered “How are you?” with “Great!” People loved hearing that. Because they really didn’t want to know.
I know a man who always answers “How are you?” with “How would I know?” Not an answer people expect. But he’s into existential crap.
For months I have had two standard answers to that question. If it’s very early in the morning I might say, “It’s too early to tell.” Because, you know, it’s early in the day and I usually get a chuckle in response. My way of spreading a teeny tiny bit of sunshine. Most of the time though I say, “Just peachy!” Because I can’t bring myself to say “Great!”
I’ve said it so much in the last few months that I’ve begun to look for subliminal messages in it. [Is my unconscious trying to tell me something?] A peach is fuzzy. Do I feel fuzzy? Yes, but not in a warm and fuzzy way. Maybe more hazy. No, peaches aren’t hazy. A peach pit is a stone. [She said I have a heart of stone, but she took me for granite....] I am not stoned. [Pretty sure of that, anyway, but how would I know?]
No, peachy is just my avatar for a laundry list of aches and pains, troubles and sorrows that I know you don’t want to hear. Or, at any rate, that I don’t want to have to recite. ‘Cause I’m doin’ great!
5 Responses to “Time Goes By Like Hurricanes and Faster Things”
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Let's do Something Cheap and Superficial 
i’ve been known to respond with “i’m not dead yet.”
Movin’ to the country,
Gonna eat a lot of peaches
Movin’ to the country,
Gonna eat me a lot of peaches
Movin’ to the country,
Gonna eat a lot of peaches
Movin’ to the country,
Gonna eat a lot of peaches
Peaches come from a can,
They were put there by a man
In a factory downtown
If I had my little way,
Id eat peaches every day
Sun-soakin’ bulges in the shade
Take a little naps where the roots all twist
Squished a rotten peach in my fist
And dreamed about you, woman,
I poked my finger down inside
Make a little room for it to hide
Natures candy in my hand or can or a pie
Millions of peaches, peaches for me
Millions of peaches, peaches for free
I don’t think I’d expect a guy to say “peachy,” so it’s probably a nice funny surprise. I agree that people don’t really seem to care, so I just say “fine, how are you? as kind of an obligatory response.
seriously, how are you?
i sense you want someone who gives a crap to ask you that question, then you would like that person to stop and really listen to your answer.
Wow..I wished someone would have told me that years ago! I used to go into lengthy details when asked “How are you?”. My least favorite is when I ask “How are you?” and they just nod and keep walking. Is “how are you” another word for “Hi”. Recently, I went to a funeral and being the meek and socially inadequate person I am, I asked someone “how are you?”. She looked at me and replied “How do you think I am?”, like I offended her