Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.
This was originally posted on 12 March 2005.
I think you can tell a lot about a person by their sense of humor. Like a lot of shy, geeky, introverts, I use humor — especially self-deprecating humor — as a defense. But I also use it as a gage to measure other people. They don’t have to be able to tell a joke well, but I like them better if they GET the joke.
Rene’ Descartes walks into a bar. The bartender asks him if he wants a beer. “I think not,” he replies. And then he disappears.
Now, I’m not a humor snob, but I do appreciate an intelligent comic and humor that rises above elementary potty jokes. For a long time though, my favorite three jokes all had one word in common in the punchline.
A buddy of mine went up to Harvard. (Remember, I grew up in Kentucky. This did not happen often.) While walking around campus, he stopped and asked one of the students, “Can y’all tell where the library’s at?” The student looked down his nose and sneered, “At Harvard, we don’t end a sentence with a preposotion.” “Okay,” says my buddy, “can y’all tell me where the library’s at, asshole?”
Nurse: “Doctor, why do you have a thermometer behind your ear?”
Doctor: “Dammit, some asshole has my pen again.”
Q: What’s the last thing to go through a bug’s mind when he hits your windshield?
A: His asshole.
I tend to prefer short jokes and one-liners. But a good story has it’s merits.
A couple driving to Disney World saw signs for the nearby town of Kissimmee. Being unfamiliar with the area, they debated whether it is pronounced KISSimmee or kissIMMee or kissimmEE. The debate turned into an arguement and they decided that when they got to the town they would ask one of the locals. So they pulled into a fast food place on the main drag and went inside. Stepping up to the counter, the guy says, “I know this may sound like an unusual request, but could you please very slowly and distinctly tell us where we are?” The clerk looks at him and says, “Burger King.”
I told that to a girl I dated and she said, “Oh, so they never found out how to pronounce it.” In that instant, I knew our relationship was going nowhere. Maybe I am a humor snob. Somedays you’re the windshield. Somedays you’re the bug.
What makes you laugh?
Let's do Something Cheap and Superficial 
I live for humor, particularly clever word play or puns.
All-time favorite joke, though, which you know well:
Two muffins were in an oven. As the oven started doing its work, one muffin looked at the other and said, “Hey, is it getting hot in here?” to which the other exclaimed, “Oh, my God! A talking muffin!”
(You can substitute English muffins and add an accent. Or one of my students this year, fluent in Mandarin, wrote it beautifully in Chinese script with this English transliteration below: “Two dumplings were in a wok. . .”)
Okay, here’s one.
A woman was driving up a circuitous mountain road, windows down, enjoying the breeze. As she rounded a curve, a car approached on the descent, and as the car prepared to pass her, a man leaned out of his open window, looked at her, and screamed “COW!”
Shocked and enraged, the woman turned her head back towards the retreating car, and yelled “PIG!” and then hit a cow.
So, about this girl you dated. . .
I would love to see the Chinese version! ~Tim
i also use self deprecating humor. i love word play. i go for nerd humor or just plain absurd. wry observational humor too.
folks don’t always get me either. i was at work the other day. one patient called to her son named tyler. another patient said, “oh, i have a tyler too!” and i asked, “what about tippecanoe?” the waiting room was full but only one person got it. way dumb joke but i was pleased that at least one person got it.
Hah! That sounds exactly like the type of thing I would say. ~Tim