Comments on: The Sweet Shoppe

By: Mark Kerstetter

Mark Kerstetter — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 16:09:44 +0000

I’m a little fuzzy on the ending, but I really enjoyed it – beautifully written.

Thanks, Mark. Just don’t eat any fuzzy candy. ~Tim

By: Laurita

Laurita — Tue, 23 Mar 2010 10:40:24 +0000

Wonderful images in this. The man looks a little creepy holding that new bottle of syrup. Well done!

Thanks, Laurita. He looks creepy, but he’s smiling! ~Tim

By: mazzz_in_Leeds

mazzz_in_Leeds — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 13:47:43 +0000

The sweets following the fingertip was awesome!
a sort of cute/creepy combo. Or dare I say, sweet/creepy!

Thanks, Mazzz. Either way you say it, thank you for the compliment. ~Tim

By: Cathy Olliffe

Cathy Olliffe — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 12:19:20 +0000

Oh, I would SO work there!

Thanks, Cathy. You’re hired! ~Tim

By: ganymeder

ganymeder — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 03:35:03 +0000

This story makes me glad I only buy fair trade chocolate. *grin*

Well done.

Thanks, Ganymeder. What a great idea for another story: otherworldly fair trade agreements! ~Tim

By: netta

netta — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 02:53:37 +0000

Ooh, nice and creepy. I love the tone throughout. It’s like the hair stood up on the back of my neck. Very nicely done.

Thanks, Netta. Nice and creepy is just what I was aiming for. ~Tim

By: PJ Kaiser

PJ Kaiser — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 19:42:09 +0000

Very clever story – maybe i’ll lay off candy for a little while … FWIW, i think you probably need to keep in “the sweetness needs to come from somewhere …” or else it might be too confusing. I like the ending – just enough mystery and just enough clue to figure it out. Well done!

Thanks, PJ. I’m glad you like it and I appreciate the feedback about the line. ~Tim

By: Cascade Lily

Cascade Lily — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 09:51:08 +0000

A prequel to Willy Wonka? Indeed. I loved the bit about the sweets turning to follow the finger, yes I did!

Thanks, Lily. I pictured them as eyeballs and it made me smile. ~Tim

By: G.P. Ching

G.P. Ching — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 00:08:11 +0000

One of my favorites for sure. The sweetness has to come from somewhere. I feel sorry for the guy, hopeless and sweetness gone too. Really clever Tim.

Thanks, G.P. He is really down on his luck. Maybe next week will be a happier tale. ~Tim

By: Skycycler

Skycycler — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 00:08:10 +0000

Colonel Sanders is diversifying? This place is magical, Tim. I hope he turns back and gives it a go as an apprentice, who knows what could happen? Great read. A tasty treat!
Simon.

Thanks, Simon. That bit about Colonel Sanders made me laugh. We’ll have to wait and see whether he ever goes back. ~Tim