Monkey Bars, See-Saw, and Something You Sit on and Go in Circles for Five Minutes and then Puke

This blog is my playground.

I make mistakes here. That’s part of the fun.

I am inconsistent in my schedule. I am inconsistent in the quality and content of my posts. I know that these things reduce traffic to my site.

I will not claim that your visits and comments do not matter to me. If they really didn’t matter, I would still be scribbling exclusively in journals, on scraps of paper, and on the occasional cocktail napkin or slightly used paper bag.

I actually like your visits and comments quite a lot. In fact, I would go so far as to say I love comments. But I will not be a comment whore. [I'm cheap, but I'm not easy.]

I like looking at site stats and seeing visitors from around the globe. That is one of the coolest things ever. I want to travel all over and see where you live. Not in a stalkerish way. I mean, I’m not going to show up at your house one day. [But, just so I know, if I hypothetically were to show up, could I stay the night on your couch?]

Also, I like seeing that some of my posts rank high in certain searches. Actually, this post started out as one of those posts about some of the crazy search terms that have brought people here. And the few posts that have consistently brought in traffic because of certain words and/or pop-culture references. But those pretty much always bring in one-time visitors. Besides, my life has drifted too far outside the pop-culture mainstream for me to be one of those bloggers all the time. Even if I wanted to. Which I don’t.

Oh, and this blog got a visit last week from a U.S. Government agency. But unless I can find out whether they’re checking on me or it was just someone screwing around during a coffee break, probably the less said about that the better. In fact, let’s just forget that I mentioned it.

So, um, for now I plan to keep posting flash fiction of questionable taste, poetry of questionable quality, and personal experiences of questionable relevance. Any questions?

If you’re wondering about the title of this post: