The Night Train

I didn’t especially like sitting in such close quarters with her. But she seemed pleasant enough and she sat quietly sipping her drink. You’re not supposed to bring food or drink on the train, of course, but at night the rules aren’t strictly enforced. If only that had been the worst of it.

The trouble started soon enough. She kept glancing over to a group of boys and they, of course, had been eyeing her ever since we got on the train. I shifted to my left, leaving her barely enough room to stay perched between me and the big guy — I wish I could remember his name, dammit — who seemed oblivious to it all. Maybe if the boys thought we were together they would leave us alone. Or maybe she would feel uncomfortable by my closeness and move to another part of the train. For the moment though, she was as fixated on those boys as they were on her.

The boys got up and gravitated towards us. I stared at them as menacingly as I could but they took no notice of me. The biggest one grabbed the rail and stood right in front of the girl. The others formed a rank behind him. She looked up at their faces and I could feel the heat of their blood rushing like the tide. She batted her eyelashes and their hearts struggled to pump some of the blood up to their brains.

To his oxygen-deprived mind I’m sure the boy thought he was chatting her up smoothly. What really came out was more along the lines of monosyllabic grunts. “Hi, babe.” “I’m Jack.” “Your name?” What he lacked in charm he made up in volume. She answered in a voice that I recognized from stories I had learned at my mother’s knee. A siren, not a human girl as I — and those poor boys — had supposed.

I watched helplessly, and a little in awe, as she drew them in and then with a giggle dashed their hopes. The object of their desire still in sight, but now totally out of reach, they crumbled like so much flotsam and drifted back to their seats. I eased back in the seat to give her more room, thankful that I am not human. Still, just to be safe, I got off at the next stop and walked the rest of the way home.

The Night Train image is by Ryan Mauskopf, known as Rye Bread on Deviant Art. It was used as a prompt on io9 and you can read several other stories there. It was the first time I played with any of the photo prompts there. I did a little editing for this version.

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27 Responses to "The Night Train"

Sonia Lal says:

2012/07/20 at 18:55

Ohh a real live siren. The boys seem to survive the encounter.

If he is not human, what he is?
1. Tim says:
  
  2012/07/21 at 10:33
  
  Thanks, Sonia. The boys survived physically, but their egos are smashed. [At least temporarily; the egos of young men can be surprisingly resilient.]
  
  And I don’t know what he is. He just doesn’t look human to me in the image. What do you think he is? ~Tim
Helen says:

2012/07/21 at 06:10

I loved that the narrator got off and walked home, just to be safe. I enjoyed this and loved the image that went with it. This piece would have sounded fantastic narrated – give it a go Tim!
1. Tim says:
  
  2012/07/21 at 10:36
  
  Thanks, Helen. The io9 site posts an image prompt every week and they’re always interesting. This was just the first one that really inspired me to dash something off.
  
  And I’ll think about adding a narration. My limited voice range might be able to do justice to this one. ~Tim
Deanna Schrayer says:

2012/07/21 at 08:17

Super suspense in this Tim, I love it! Those poor boys….
1. Tim says:
  
  2012/07/21 at 10:38
  
  Thanks, Deanna. I’d bet there are a lot of young women who wish that deterring the interests of boys were so easy. ~Tim
Steve Green says:

2012/07/21 at 12:32

You never can judge a book by its cover, and not all pretty little girls are quite as pretty on the inside as they are on the outside… Boys, venture near at your peril.
1. Tim says:
  
  2012/07/21 at 12:41
  
  Thanks, Steve. You offer good advice to the boys which, I suspect, will be totally ignored. ~Tim
Sylvia van Bruggen says:

2012/07/21 at 15:57

ahhhhh I have seen sirens at work like this alright Great story!
1. Tim says:
  
  2012/07/21 at 16:46
  
  Thanks, Sylvia. Seeing sirens at work is a wondrous thing. ~Tim
ganymeder says:

2012/07/21 at 19:04

Whoa, double whammy! Nicely done.
1. Tim says:
  
  2012/07/22 at 10:26
  
  Thanks, Ganymeder. When everyone else zigs, zag. Words to live [and write] by. ~Tim
Larry Kollar says:

2012/07/21 at 23:48

I think the boys got off easy! I wondered if the narrator was a vampire, as he seemed to sense their circulation “issues.”
1. Tim says:
  
  2012/07/22 at 10:27
  
  Thanks, Larry. I think they got off easy too. I don’t know what kind of creature the narrator is. ~Tim
Adam B says:

2012/07/22 at 02:40

Cleverly done. Love the otherness of the narrator.
Adam B @revhappiness
1. Tim says:
  
  2012/07/22 at 10:28
  
  Thanks, Adam. The prompt image made the otherness easy to imagine. ~Tim
Richard Bon says:

2012/07/22 at 11:05

Easy for the non-human to judge the silly male youth and their attempts, but from what does it seek safety?
1. Tim says:
  
  2012/07/23 at 15:52
  
  Thanks, Richard. If he doesn’t fear that the siren might turn her attentions toward him, I suppose he fears getting caught in the crossfire of another encounter. ~Tim
Cathy Webster says:

2012/07/22 at 11:25

Read your story to my 11 year old son who was hovering and noticed the very cool picture. (He liked you story as much as I did!) I loved the fact you don’t mention the fact that your main character is a weird looking non-human coneheaded dude until a small point in the end. Nice work, Tim!
1. Tim says:
  
  2012/07/23 at 15:53
  
  Thanks, Cathy. I’m so pleased that your son enjoyed the story too. Thanks for sharing it with him. ~Tim
Chuck Allen says:

2012/07/22 at 15:46

I like the tone of the narrator in this one. He seemed so nonchalant about the siren as he was telling the story – I was glad to hear his admission to fear by walking a ways home “just to be safe”.
1. Tim says:
  
  2012/07/23 at 15:54
  
  Thanks, Chuck. In many ways it was just a typical night on the train, I think. ~Tim
John Wiswell says:

2012/07/23 at 20:49

Both the image and the story kick ass, Tim. Both Fantastical and Surreal at once, totally immersively amusing and odd enough to more than carry the scant few paragraphs.
1. Tim says:
  
  2012/07/25 at 17:31
  
  Thanks, John. One of the things I like about the image is the potential for a wide variety of viewpoints and situations. It was fun to write to. ~Tim
The #FridayFlash Report – Vol 4 Number 8 | Friday Flash says:

2012/07/24 at 10:13

[...] The Night Train by Tim VanSant ~ @TimVanSant ~ Fantasy [...]
Icy Sedgwick says:

2012/07/27 at 08:57

I LOVED this!! Love love love. Excellent work, sir.
1. Tim says:
  
  2012/07/27 at 18:01
  
  Thanks, Icy. I love love love your enthusiasm. ~Tim

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