otoh

I’d understand if you think that everything reminds me of a joke because it’s basically true. Except, of course, when I’m feeling particularly cynical. Then everything is a joke. I was reminded of this story while watching the performances of Godspell.

The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, “Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?”

Jesus said to them, “If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her.”

Just then a stone came sailing over their heads from the back of the crowd.

Jesus turned, looked, and said, “Oh, Mom!”

If I’m going to hell, I’m going down laughing….

This very entertaining post by Lime reminded me of an old story. You should go read her post first — not because it makes my story any better; you just should.

A graduate student in anthropology brought a young co-ed up to his apartment. While he excused himself to the kitchen [probably to open a new box of wine, but that wasn't in this story when I learned it -- I just like the digression] she perused the decor in the tiny living room. On nearly every horizontal surface there were… anthropological artifacts.

“What are these?” she asked.

“Those are phallic symbols from different cultures around the world,” he explained.

“Oh, thank goodness,” she sighed relief. “You know what they look like?”

Bah-DUM-bum….

I was SOOOoooo worn out when I got back yesterday from chaperoning the drama kids at the State Festival. And I was there only two days — the other chaperones and the kids were there for four. One of our students earned a scholarship. One of our groups got a superior rating on their performance of a number from The Lion King. Three of our kids were invited to perform improv following the closing ceremonies. I don’t have the full list of achievements with me right now….

I saw a production of Thoroughly Modern Millie that had gorgeous sets and lighting, really good performances, and a few technical problems. And I watched the Bests of Show closing night and saw some really awesome talent.

The theme for the Festival was “Got Drama?” and the T-shirts feature that slogan and the face of Shakespeare with the white smear on the upper lip. I never liked those milk ads — they were creepy in a porn money shot kind of way. But they don’t ask my opinion on such matters and I would never say anything like this around the kids….

It occurred to me that if you get thousands of teenagers together there will be drama — we might as well try to channel it in a positive direction. There is a difference between drama and drama. I hate drama in my life, but I really like having drama in it.

At a professional gathering tonight, a woman announced that the Easter Bunny brought news that she is going to be a grandmother in October. And I immediately thought, “The rabbit died? The Easter Bunny is dead?” Amazingly and fortuitously, my filter actually kicked in before I said that out loud.

I guess I shouldn’t have been so surprised. After all, it was an experience I had in college that helped fix in my mind the phases of the moon. But I’ll come back to that.

To recap, I wrote:

In a recent National Education Association publication they state,

Not everyone agrees that multiple-choice is the biggest problem. H. D. Hoover, principal author of the Iowa Test of Basic Skills for 40 years (and recently retired), thinks they can be every bit as thought-provoking as open-ended questions.

Case in point:

The full moon rises at midnight…
a. always b. usually c. rarely d. never

That question stumps a lot of adults — and it’s too tough to put on a state test. Figuring it out depends on really understanding why the moon has phases, and then applying that understanding — not bad for a 10-word item.

It amazes me that that is not simply a recollection of fact. And I wondered, do you know the answer to that question? If not, could you figure it out? [No fair looking it up.] I know the answer and I happen to know why as well. But I’m not normal….

First a couple digressions: I remember seeing a really bad werewolf movie on late-night TV several years ago. A group of people were stranded on an island with the creature and were attacked during the full moon… five nights in a row! Now, I can suspend disbelief about the existence of werewolves, but on this planet we will never have a full moon five (or even two) nights in a row. But it was set on a tropical island and there were girls in bikinis so I didn’t turn it off right away….

I have heard that Cat Stevens (now Yusuf Islam) wrote the song Moonshadow after he visited a small town in Spain. He had lived in cities like London where the lights of the city outshined the stars and the moon. He had never seen the moon cast a shadow. [I haven't found independent verification of that story though, so it's possible I misunderstood or was misinformed. Still, it's a good story....] And with that type of light pollution being so pervasive not just in our cities but increasingly in our suburbs, I suppose that most of us never really get to see moon rises on a regular basis or appreciate the brilliance of a full moon. Unless you are a farmer or frequent hunter, fisher, camper, etc. you probably are ignorant of the moon’s regular passage.

One spring break when I was in college a group of us spent the week in Florida. We spent the first few days camping on a small island in the Keys. One night we sat on the beach and watched the sun set over the water. Actually, we did that several nights that week, but on this particular night one of my friends jumped up and said, “It’s a full moon tonight and it’s going to come up right over there,” pointing behind us. And we walked a short distance (it’s a very small island), sat on the beach, and watched the moon rise over the water…. Really cool.

As a result of that and a few other experiences I have no trouble remembering a few simple facts about the phases of the moon. Even if you don’t understand why this happens, it’s not hard to remember what happens very regularly.

1. The full moon rises at sunset, passes its highest point in the sky in the middle of the night, and sets at sunrise.
2. There is about one week between each of the four phases.
3. The moon rises and sets about an hour later each day.
4. It takes about 29.5 days for it’s cycle to repeat.

The first of those is all one needs to know to answer the question and it is a simple fact, not something one needs to “figure out.” I wonder if anyone fully understands why we see full moons regularly [if we're looking] (and thus could figure out the answer to the question) without knowing that fact? On the other hand, even without knowing why the moon phases occur, one could use those facts to figure out that:

1. The new moon rises at sunrise and sets at sunset.
2. The first quarter moon rises in the middle of the day and sets in the middle of the night.
3. The third quarter moon rises in the middle of the night and sets in the middle of the day.

All of which are also true. [It's good to know that my insomnia is good for something.] Although you might not be able to figure out why we call it a quarter moon when we see half of it lit up. And we haven’t even got to what the heck a waning gibbous is yet….

I’ll get back to the moon in my next post. I have to share this.

I teach high school drafting classes and I sometimes play music while the students are drawing. I have a set of four CDs of Disney music and for the last couple years I have played one of those on Fridays. Yesterday one of my students asked to borrow one of the discs because she likes a particular song on it.

While we were looking for which disc has that song she commented on how listening to Disney reminds her of childhood. Well, that’s part of the reason I play those songs. (They’re also safer than some of the music I would listen to on my own and a break from the classical music I often play in class.)

Then she said [and I refrained from laughing with difficulty], “I like the old songs better than the stuff most kids listen to today. You know, from the nineties.”

Ah, the perspective of youth….

I’m going to try really really hard not to go on a rant about the high-stakes testing that schools are enduring these days. But that’s the context that this question comes from.

Designing tests and writing test questions is a complicated process. Multiple-choice questions are much faster (and therefore much much much cheaper) to grade and consequently make up most or all of the standardized tests we face. One of the challenges is to write a multiple-choice question that requires anything more than regurgitating facts.

In a recent National Education Association publication they state,

Not everyone agrees that multiple-choice is the biggest problem. H. D. Hoover, principal author of the Iowa Test of Basic Skills for 40 years (and recently retired), thinks they can be every bit as thought-provoking as open-ended questions.

Case in point:

The full moon rises at midnight…
a. always b. usually c. rarely d. never

That question stumps a lot of adults — and it’s too tough to put on a state test. Figuring it out depends on really understanding why the moon has phases, and then applying that understanding — not bad for a 10-word item.

Wow. Too tough for a state test? Are we that out of touch with the rhythms of our world? Are we that science ignorant? And, at the risk of embarrassing anyone [although everyone that reads here is well above average intelligence], could you answer this correctly? And, perhaps more importantly, is this something you know or something you have to figure out? (No fair doing a web search. I’ll tell you the answer in my next post.)

April, I would be a fool

To let you march away

If anyone might leave

I should know, April may

I was never a big fan of dead baby jokes, gross jokes, truly tasteless jokes, or the like. Yet I’m quite capable of being disgusted and amused by things at the same time. Like that Post Log pic. (There was a pun intended there, by the way.)

Where do you find a turtle with no legs?
Right where you left it….

One of the things I’ve been reading lately is The Pleasure of Finding Things Out: The Best Short Works of Richard P. Feynman. Feynman was a Nobel Prize-winning physicist and teacher who worked on the Manhattan Project and was on the panel that investigated the Space Shuttle Challenger Disaster. And, by all accounts, he was quite a character.

What do you call a cat with no legs?
It doesn’t matter, it won’t come to you. [To be fair, neither would a cat with legs....]

A recurring point in Feynman’s lectures is that a scientist must live with doubt. No matter how certain he thinks he is about a “fact”, he must keep an open mind to the possibility that some new evidence will be presented that will indicate that what we’ve known all along is totally wrong. That’s why scientists call what they “know” theories instead of facts.

What do you call it when you take a dog with no legs for a walk?
A drag….

A scientist, Feynman says, believes things with varying levels of certainty, but never 100% certain. Holding in mind that something is probably true (until new evidence leads us to believe it probably is not) is like believing that something is both true and not true. Parents and teachers know what it’s like to see a behavior we should discourage. So we put on our stern faces and use our I-really-mean-it voices. We wag our fingers and shake our heads. And hope like hell we’re out of earshot when we bust a gut laughing at what the kid has done.

Nothing is more dangerous than an idea if it is the only one you have.

Here’s an idea: an American Civil Responsibilities Union — freedom isn’t free.

Here’s an idea: a letter that I never wrote might be called Missive Inaction.

Here’s an idea: The Seven Habits of Highly Offensive People.

Here’s an idea: Brother Can You Paradigm?

Here’s an idea: Are you less (or more) likely to have an accident if you have a purpose?

Here’s an idea: Mr. Couch Potato Head

Here’s an idea: Sea Creature Chess — King crab, Queen conch, Bishop fish, Seahorse, Sand castle, and Prawns [and, yes, I know that sand castles are not creatures... I never said it was a great or fully-developed idea.]

Now, I wrote all of that just so I could write this other idea I had:
Beware the IDEAS of March.