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As They Struggle with the Undertaking of Simple Thought

Posted by Tim at 17:57 on 2009/01/16

Jan 162009

When doctors don’t know the cause of your ailment they may refer to it as idiopathic. It’s sort of a polite way of saying, “It’s just you.”

When I see the word idiopathic I think there should be another word, idiopathy. If sympathy may be summed up as, “I feel your pain,” then idiopathy may be summed up as, “I feel your stupidity.” [Alternatively, "I feel you're stupid."]

I’ve been fairly swimming in idiopathy this week — it was semester exam week. And I’ve decided that idiopathy sometimes just isn’t enough to express how I feel when, for example, a student shows up for an exam without a pencil. We have moved into idiopathetic territory at that point.

As a teacher I am a soldier in the war against ignorance. Unfortunately, while education is effective against ignorance, some other cure [if one exists] must be found for stupidity.

Soon please….

The Doctor Say He's Comin', but You Gotta Pay Him Cash

Posted by Tim at 21:26 on 2009/01/13

Jan 132009

Two snails were traveling south.

A turtle was traveling west.

Two snails were traveling south.
A turtle was traveling west.

Two snails were traveling south.
A turtle was traveling west.

Two snails were traveling south.
A turtle was traveling west.
Soon they approached each other.

Two snails were traveling south.
A turtle was traveling west.
They got closer.

Two snails were traveling south.
A turtle was traveling west.
Closer still.

Two snails were traveling south.
A turtle was traveling west.
Just inches apart.

Two snails were traveling south.
A turtle was traveling west.
And then…

…calamity!

One of the snails was directly in the path of the turtle.

It was inevitable, perhaps.

Maybe the turtle just couldn’t stop.

At any rate, it didn’t stop.

The turtle ran over one of the snails.

And kept going.

West.

“What was that?” asked the violated snail.

While the turtle kept going west.

“I don’t know,” replied the other snail. “It all happened so fast!”

Last summer some of the ceiling tiles in my classroom were water-damaged and moldy. They were replaced today.

So there’s that….

Ah, but Who Would Want to Listen to You, Kissing his Existence Good Night

Posted by Tim at 17:06 on 2009/01/13

Jan 132009

I have a bad habit. Almost every work-day morning I stop at a 7-11 and buy coffee and a donut. Breakfast of champions it ain’t. I know.

But here’s the thing. Two store-fronts over from the 7-11 is a Starbucks and nearly every week some poor schmuck parks across the street, pays five times as much for his/her coffee as I pay for mine, and then starts to walk back across the street RIGHT IN FRONT OF ONCOMING TRAFFIC! They are halfway between two intersections. Both intersections have crosswalks and signs warning drivers to yield to pedestrians.

Have they not read Fulghum? Do they not realize that I have not drunk my coffee yet either and would dearly love [most mornings] to run their TSTL* asses over? I ~~grudgingly~~ happily yield to pedestrians in the crosswalks. In the middle of the block, you’re pushing the limits of my bleary-eyed good graces.

Maybe we all need one of those Jack Bauer alarm clocks — it screams, “You’re running out of time!!!”

Maybe not.

*TSTL = Too Stupid To Live

New American Perspective

Posted by Tim at 18:59 on 2008/09/12

Sep 122008

Okay, you may officially question my resolve to stay away from politics….

The local CBS affiliate [for reasons that I'm sure must make sense to them] broadcasts EXTRA after Letterman’s Late Show moving Craig Ferguson’s Late Late Show even later. Not that I could stay up that late on a regular basis any way…. But as a result, I rarely get to see Ferguson.

I did see an interview with him not long ago in which he talked about recently becoming an American citizen. His patriotism seems genuine and his enthusiasm can be infectious. And here is his perspective as he prepares to vote in an American presidential election for the first time:

Republicans Have Hijacked 9/11

Posted by Tim at 22:29 on 2008/09/10

Sep 102008

I usually stay away from politics, both here and in my 3D world. I admit to being a cynic and I find the term “politics” more often than not to be a dirty word. Politicians do and say outrageous things. And yet [or perhaps as a result] it seems to take more and more for us to feel outraged.

Check this out:

SPECIAL COMMENT
Republicans Have Hijacked 9/11
By Keith Olbermann
Anchor, ‘Countdown’
MSNBC

Read the text here or watch the video here.

Smart, and a bit lucky

Posted by Tim at 18:56 on 2008/08/29

Aug 292008

I decided to err on the side of caution and sent the Silverstein poem to ALL my colleagues… with a revised prologue. While including a wider audience might seem reckless, I based this decision on the assumption that if I sent it only to certain individuals they might [not incorrectly, perhaps] conclude that I intended criticism as much as humor. The dozen or so replies I got were universally positive and appreciative leading me to believe I chose wisely. [For once... go me!]

In a bit of synchronicity, I received an email today from a colleague that included this pearl of wisdom:

If you can’t be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

Exactly!

Smart, maybe not so much

Posted by Tim at 23:01 on 2008/08/27

Aug 272008

I am oh so sorely tempted to send an email to certain colleagues [who neither guide nor counsel it seems]. And it may look like this:

[Begin sample email]

Subject: Thanks for ALL you do

Since we’re all so consumed by numbers right now, I thought you might enjoy this bit of humor.

Smart by Shel Silverstein

My dad gave me one dollar bill
‘Cause I’m his smartest son,
And I swapped it for two shiny quarters
‘Cause two is more than one!

And then I took the quarters
And traded them to Lou
For three dimes — I guess he don’t know
That three is more than two!

Just then, along came old blind Bates
And just ’cause he can’t see
He gave me four nickels for my three dimes,
And four is more than three!

And I took the nickels to Hiram Coombs
Down at the seed-feed store,
And the fool gave me five pennies for them,
And five is more than four!

And then I went and showed my dad,
And he got red in the cheeks
And closed his eyes and shook his head–
Too proud of me to speak!

Thanks for ALL you do!
~Tim

[End sample email]

But… I am trying to practice more restraint than last year. And while some parts of the students’ schedules are not as monumentally fubarred as last year, the schedules aren’t all right either. Still, doesn’t this just ooze innocence and optimism?

Opism

Posted by Tim at 22:02 on 2008/08/24

Aug 242008

Opism: when you take the tim out of optimism….

Tropical storm Fay never got as strong as she might have and didn’t roll right over top of me after all, but she hung around way too long and dumped tons of rain on us. Flooding was worse on the Atlantic coast and I fared better than many. Got some water damage in one corner room though and still cleaning that up….

Schools in my district were closed Tuesday and Friday. Others had to close all week — that’s a lot of days to make up.

This was already a tough time to be an educator in Florida. Budgets statewide were cut. We have to teach more students with fewer teachers — more classes of shorter length — and meet higher standards with no raise, not even a cost-of-living increase. [But I'm not bitter, because I should be happy just to have a job....]

A colleague has been passing the mantra, “Optimism Now!” And, try as I might, I’m just not feeling it.

This commercial has been running on TV:

Every time I see it I think, “This kid is an idiot — just another of the spoiled brats with over-indulgent parents and an unflagging sense of entitlement.” I am not inspired. I have a bad attitude.

Fay is gone, but there is still a tropical depression here….

Fie on Fay

Posted by Tim at 19:02 on 2008/08/18

Aug 182008

Today was the first day of classes… and tomorrow the schools will be closed. Tropical Storm Fay is tracking its way toward Central Florida.

In a way, it’s like deja-vu for the hurricane season of a few years ago. This time the storm is not expected to reach hurricane status before barreling over top of us. But it IS expected to barrel over top of us. Even if it had stayed in the Gulf and made landfall further north (as it was projected to do for a while) we would have been subjected to high winds, lots of rain, and a good chance of tornadic activity.

As I write this, the eye is less than 300 miles away. It will probably be right over us late tomorrow night. So there’s a pretty good chance we will miss more than just one day of school. [The calendar already has several days identified as make-up days; we have learned a thing or two about scheduling around the unpredictable....]

At this point, all we can do is hunker down and hope that the damage is minimal. And, as long as I have electricity, I guess I’ll get to watch some more of the Olympics….