Random Quote:

 

RRR: Seeking the Elusive Treble Entendre

Posted by Tim at 20:12 on 2009/10/13
Oct 132009

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.
The first two-thirds of this was originally posted on 18 February 2005.
But, there is trouble with trebles — this feels incomplete without a third part so I’ve added to it.

complex – noun: a group of repressed desires and memories that exerts a dominating influence upon the personality
complex – adjective, 2 : hard to separate, analyze, or solve
complex – noun, 1 : a whole made up of complicated or interrelated parts (a complex of university buildings)

Therefore, if you have repressed desires about a hard to analyze group of university buildings, you have a complex complex complex.

fob – transitive verb, archaic, DECIEVE, CHEAT
fob – noun, an ornament attached to a fob chain
fob off – transitive verb, 1: to put off with a trick, excuse, or inferior substitute
2: to pass or offer (something spurious) as genuine
3: to put aside

I took it off my keychain. It was a little plastic license plate I carried for three years. Because she gave it to me. Because we flirted a little. Because even though I knew we could never be, it was fun to pretend a little that maybe…. But it was chipped and faded. And it wasn’t really the one she gave me anyway. My keys were stolen so I bought one just like it. It seemed like a good idea at the time.

fool – 1 : a person lacking in judgment or prudence
fool – 2 a : a retainer formerly kept in great households to provide casual entertainment and commonly dressed in motley with cap, bells, and bauble b : one who is victimized or made to appear foolish : dupe
fool – 3 a : a harmlessly deranged person or one lacking in common powers of understanding b : one with a marked propensity or fondness for something [a dancing fool] [a fool for candy]

What kind of fool am I? [Yeah, um, this is what you call a rhetorical question....]

Definitions from Merriam-Webster Online

RRR: Skin on Skin

Posted by Tim at 00:01 on 2009/09/17
Sep 172009

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.
This was originally posted on 2 June 2005.

Taut and tawny
Buff and brawny
Teasing tongues, trembling sighs
Lips warm and wet and willing

Breaths caught and cast
Heat rising fast
Probing fingers, quivering thighs
Lips hot and wet and yielding

Desperation
Penetration
Muffled moans, stifled cries
Skin sizzles at each touch

Chain reaction
Satisfaction
A little death in life
Skin never felt so much

RRR: m & i

Posted by Tim at 00:01 on 2009/09/14
Sep 142009

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.
This was originally posted on 17 Feb 2005.

we share colorful candy-coated chocolates
i hold your hand in mine
i melt into yours
here, m, have another green one

RRR: The Grand Disillusion v2.0

Posted by Tim at 23:16 on 2009/02/17
Feb 172009

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.
I posted a version of this on 9 June 2005, but I have added some new material for this post. ~Tim

What we find precious are common materials forged in uncommon circumstances. Rubies are aluminum oxide, pearls are calcium carbonate, diamonds are carbon. Aluminum, oxygen, calcium, carbon. All so very common. As are we.

Cut: Most gemstones are not very pretty when they are pulled from the earth. It takes an expert’s eye to see the potential within. The careful cutting away of waste and polishing leads to fire and brilliance. We all start out like diamonds in the rough. But we have to develop our own facets. Forgive me for still being a little rough. Pearls are beautiful when we find them, but they are the result of the oyster trying to protect itself from some irritation like a microscopic intruder or parasite. We take irritations and turn them into wars. I feel so evolved.

I’m just an old chunk of coal
But I’m gonna be a diamond some day
I’m gonna glow and grow
‘Til I’m so blue pure perfect

Color: The color differences in gems can be so subtle that they are imperceptible except when compared side-by-side with another stone. We naturally make comparisons. [One of these things is not like the other....] We are alike, but not the same. And if you look closer, I am not exactly what you thought I was. As I get to know you better, as I look closer, you are not exactly what I thought you were either. We may look at life through rose-colored glasses or spend our nights feeling blue. But we need to remember that our color comes from the inside, not the outside.

I’m gonna put a smile on everybody’s face
I’m gonna kneel and pray everyday
Lest I should become vain along the way
I’m just an old chunk of coal, now Lord
But I’m gonna be a diamond some day

Clarity: Every gem has imperfections. That’s largely what makes them unique. Our flaws may be minor surface blemishes or fractures hidden deep within, but we all have them. We cheat on our spouses, we abuse our children, we lie to our families, we betray our friends, we fight with our neighbors, we steal from strangers, we hate ourselves. But put us in the right light and none of that is visible. We choose our light to hide our flaws.

I’m gonna learn the best way to walk
I’m gonna search and find a better way to talk
I’m gonna spit and polish my old rough-edged self
Til I get rid of every single flaw

Carat: The mass of gems is measured in carats and a paragon is a flawless diamond of at least 100 carats. A paragon is a model of excellence or perfection. A “paragon of virtue” is the common phrase we use to describe people we admire. Can we be virtuous and yet not flawless? How can we be anything else? The carat [spelled karat in the U.S. and Canada] is also the measure of purity of gold. Pure gold does not exist in nature. Even the highest purity refined gold may be only 99% pure. I am considerably less pure, but then I never claimed to be very refined either….

I’m gonna be the World’s best friend
I’m gonna go around shaking everybody’s hand
Hey, I’m gonna be the cotton-pickin’ Rage of the Age
I’m gonna be a diamond some day

Setting: Gemstones are beautiful in themselves, but in the context of a ring or necklace that beauty can be multiplied. The right setting enhances our appearance, the wrong one diminishes it. In our blogs, in our lives, we choose our surroundings and what to display. Some of us choose to display our faults and rough edges. Some of us give hints and glimpses. Some of us hide all but a facet or two.

Sometimes I am disappointed when I see a flaw in someone I admire and respect. Usually I am dismayed when I see the flaws in myself. We are not perfect, but that’s what makes us unique and beautiful. Besides, we are all still works in progress.

Chunk of Coal by Billy Joe Shaver

RRR: There's an Animal in My House

Posted by Tim at 01:28 on 2009/02/16
Feb 162009

Reduce, Reuse, Recycle.
This was originally posted on 2 May 2005 ~Tim

There’s an animal in my house.
Sometimes
it’s cute and cuddly and sweet,
warm and fuzzy and snuggly,
cozy, comfy, endearing,
hands that hold,
arms that embrace.

There’s an animal in my house.
Sometimes
it’s furry and dirty and smelly,
cold and creepy and crawly,
slimey, slithery, sneaky,
with claws and fangs and horns,
it kicks and scratches,
bites and gores.

There’s an animal in my house.
Sometimes
it’s me.

RRR: Two Heads Are Different Than One

Posted by Tim at 17:29 on 2008/05/28
May 282008

Another repost. Just for fun and because I haven’t finished any of the drafts I have bouncing around….

Wow.
WOW!
(indistinct mumbling)
Stunning!
Wha-huh? Right. Stunning. Do I look stunned?
I feel a tingling sensation….
Shut up! How do I look?
Your mouth is closed, you’re not drooling. We’re cool!
Is it hot in here?
Yeah, she’s really hot!
I feel like an idiot. Do I look like an idiot? Please, god, don’t let me look like an idiot.
Look at those –
Eyes! Maintain eye contact.
But get a load of her –
Eyes! Wait, am I staring now? I should look away. She’s going to think I’m some kind of stalker.
Yeah, I’d like to stock her. Heh heh heh.
Shut up! I don’t even know what that means, but you make it sound dirty.
Heh heh heh.
Cut that out!
She’s leaning over. Look down her blouse.
No! She’ll think I’m a creep.
She expects you to look. If you don’t look, she’ll think you’re gay.
Maybe I can catch a glimpse without her noticing…
So you’re gonna look and she’ll still think you’re gay because she doesn’t know you looked.
Well, no one can blame me if my eyes just kind of wander down…
Woo-hoo! Hooters! I wonder what color her –
Eyes! Look at her eyes!
Lace. I definitely saw some lace.
Yeah, it’s amazing how you can see the lace and still be imagining her naked.
Yeah, naked. Heh heh heh.
Shut up. I can’t hear what she’s saying. Smile. Nod. Pretend you’ve been paying attention.
I’m standing at attention. Does that count?
(Grinning stupidly.) Wait, what is she looking at. Do I have something in my teeth?
Teeth… zipper… my turn! Heh heh heh.
Oh my god. Did she ask a question? Is she waiting for me to say something?
Let ME do the talking.
That’s definitely not going to happen.
I know how to drive home a point.
You are so disgusting. You’re gonna get me slapped–
Me next, me next!
–or worse get me arrested–
Might be worth it.
–and thrown in jail–
Might be worth it.
–in a cell full of men–
Might be a good idea if you take over again….

RRR: Tim is Short for InTIMidate

Posted by Tim at 16:29 on 2008/05/13
May 132008

Originally posted in January 2005:

Not really, of course, but this old quip of mine came to mind for two reasons: I find that some of the blogs I run across are very revealing (sometimes WAY too much information) and I realize that I don’t write the same way here as I do in a journal that I think no one will read. I know that this blog is not read by many people (well, not yet, but after I get really famous….), but knowing that someone could read it inhibits me a little.

Tim is not really short [and no Tiny Tim jokes, you know who you are]. Besides, Tim and date haven’t been that close together for a long time. TIM is really an acronym for Typically Insensitive Male. But it’s not like I’m posting a personal ad here. I’m just shaking out the random thoughts so they’ll stop rattling around in my head for a few minutes.

Addendum May 2008:

I’ve kept this blog going a little over three and a half years so far. In that time I’ve started and deleted at least three others [I wasn't really keeping count.] I went through recently and closed comments on all the old posts to cut down on spam [don't know why I never bothered to do that as I went along, but it makes a BIG difference] and I find that this is still true — because this one has my real name attached to it I tend to be more cautious [with a couple notable exceptions] with what I post.

Wanna know a secret? I recently started a blog under a pseudonym that I will never link to from here [or vice versa] just to see if my writing is very different when I am that other person. How many of you have multiple personalities blogs?

RRR: Ruminate on This

Posted by Tim at 14:49 on 2008/04/26
Apr 262008

Reduce. Recycle. Reuse. This was originally posted in my first month on this blog. It’s completely silly and meaningless, but I enjoyed writing it.

Ruminate on This

“Doctor?”
“What’s the Beef?”
“It looks like Mad Cow.”
The patient was lying on a Guernsey. “Looks like you got a Bum Steer,” I observed.
“Don’t give me that Bull,” he replied.
“So what are you Hereford?”
“Got Milk?”
“Heifer Pete’s sake, I’m a doctor. Don’t you see the Sheepskin?”
“What Cow College did you go to?”
“Charolais.”
“Charlie’s? Holy Cow!”
“No. Charolais. Besides, I’m pretty sure that would be a Brahman.”
“Well, I guess I stepped in that Cow Patty.”
“Don’t call me Patty. Tell me how you Veal.”
“Gee, you’re Bossie. I feel so fine.”
“More like Bovine, it seems to me.”
“You’re not Calf as funny as you think you are.”
“Don’t have a Cow, man.”
“Maybe I’d better book.”
“Leather-bound?”
“I’m not sure where I’m bound, but I’m not trying to Hide.”
“And you’re not running from the Longhorn of the law?”
“No. I made Baal. I’m gonna Hoof-n-Mouth off.”
“There’s no need to get Angus.”
“Hey, let go. You Toro my Jersey.”
“Sorry. I didn’t want you to start a Stampede. And I haven’t given you my bill.”
“I’m sure you’re going to Milk this for all it’s worth.”
“Bullseye. You owe me a Buffalo Nickel.”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever Herd.”

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