Random Quote:

 

I was recently directed to the blog ZERO out of FIVE – But you get an ‘A’ for Effort, self-described as,

Since high school I have always answered every question on every test, even if that meant making something up. I always hoped for, but never received sympathy marks. This blog is my collection of tests from other people that tried the same.

Reading back through the archives I found this post — one of the funniest (and truest) student answers I have seen:

A train is blowing it’s [sic] whistle while traveling at a speed of 22.0 m/s. The speed of sound is 343 m/s. Observer A is directly in front of the train, while observer B is directly behind it. Find the whistle frequency heard by A and that heard by B.

The student deduced from the fact that Observer A is directly in front of the train that:

Observer A is dead.

Court of Play

Posted by Tim at 21:00 on 2009/03/04
Mar 042009

Citing the dismal statistic, “Only one-third of Americans can name the three branches of government, but two-thirds can name a judge on American Idol,” Justice Sandra Day O’Connor is leading the development of an online interactive civic education project: Our Courts. The site is up and already has resources for middle school students and teachers. Games are in development and are scheduled to be available later this year.

For the record:

  • executive
  • legislative
  • judicial
  • Simon
  • Paula
  • some other guy

I have never been a fan of the show….

Jan 162009

When doctors don’t know the cause of your ailment they may refer to it as idiopathic. It’s sort of a polite way of saying, “It’s just you.”

When I see the word idiopathic I think there should be another word, idiopathy. If sympathy may be summed up as, “I feel your pain,” then idiopathy may be summed up as, “I feel your stupidity.” [Alternatively, "I feel you're stupid."]

I’ve been fairly swimming in idiopathy this week — it was semester exam week. And I’ve decided that idiopathy sometimes just isn’t enough to express how I feel when, for example, a student shows up for an exam without a pencil. We have moved into idiopathetic territory at that point.

As a teacher I am a soldier in the war against ignorance. Unfortunately, while education is effective against ignorance, some other cure [if one exists] must be found for stupidity.

Soon please….

*

Jan 132009

Two snails were traveling south.

A turtle was traveling west.

Two snails were traveling south.
A turtle was traveling west.

Two snails were traveling south.
A turtle was traveling west.

Two snails were traveling south.
A turtle was traveling west.
Soon they approached each other.

Two snails were traveling south.
A turtle was traveling west.
They got closer.

Two snails were traveling south.
A turtle was traveling west.
Closer still.

Two snails were traveling south.
A turtle was traveling west.
Just inches apart.

Two snails were traveling south.
A turtle was traveling west.
And then…

…calamity!

One of the snails was directly in the path of the turtle.

It was inevitable, perhaps.

Maybe the turtle just couldn’t stop.

At any rate, it didn’t stop.

The turtle ran over one of the snails.

And kept going.

West.

“What was that?” asked the violated snail.

While the turtle kept going west.

“I don’t know,” replied the other snail. “It all happened so fast!”

Last summer some of the ceiling tiles in my classroom were water-damaged and moldy. They were replaced today.

So there’s that….

*

DHMO Danger

Posted by Tim at 16:49 on 2008/12/02
Dec 022008

All of the following statements about hydroxic acid (DHMO) are absolutely true and independently verifiable:

  • It is a colorless and odorless chemical compound
  • Its atomic components are found in a number of caustic, explosive and poisonous compounds such as Sulfuric Acid, Nitroglycerine and Ethyl Alcohol
  • It is a primary constituent of acid rain
  • It contributes to the greenhouse effect and global warming
  • It is a major component of acid rain
  • It contributes to soil erosion
  • It leads to corrosion and oxidation of many metals
  • Contamination of electrical systems often causes short-circuits
  • Inhalation of even small amounts can lead to death in a few minutes
  • Its gaseous form can cause severe burns
  • Prolonged exposure to its solid form causes severe tissue damage
  • Exposure decreases effectiveness of automobile brakes
  • It is associated with killer cyclones in the U.S. Midwest and elsewhere, and in hurricanes including deadly storms in Florida, New Orleans and other areas across the globe
  • It may not be dumped into landfills in the U.S. and if found in a landfill must be removed
  • However, it may be dumped with virtually no restriction into lakes, rivers, and streams
  • It is widely distributed throughout the U.S. and can legally be sold to minors
  • It is widely available in schools and administrators have no idea how much of the substance is used by students while at school or at home
  • It is certainly ingested daily by a large percentage of students
  • Attempts by government agencies to regulate its distribution and use are often ridiculed and stopped before being enacted

So, should we be worried about this dangerous chemical compound? It does have many practical uses and even healthful benefits to virtually all plants and animals. More importantly, hydroxic acid is more commonly known not so much as DHMO but by either its chemical formula or a vernacular term. DHMO is dihydrogen monoxide… H2O… water.

And one more: embedding is disabled on this one, but it’s definitely worth a click.

A Debate Evolves

Posted by Tim at 21:46 on 2008/09/15
Sep 152008

I recently read a discussion here that was spurred by a New York Times article there. I read only a fraction of the hundreds of comments on the NYT article and, as expected, they were not all as polite or well-stated.

I am tolerant of other people’s beliefs, but I bristle when they believe that non-scientists should be able to decide what is taught in science classes. For me it is no problem if a science class and a religion class [or one's school and one's church or home] teach information which is contradictory and incompatible. They are different approaches to our attempts to understand the world and our place in it. I would even go so far as to say it is important to learn about things you do not agree with — you’ll have to deal with people that disagree with you all your life, you might as well try to understand their point of view. [I hesitate to use the "agree to disagree" phrase because I've worked with too many people for whom that is code for "I disagree with you and therefore don't have to listen to your point of view" -- NOT the same thing at all.]

Anyway, I was surprised by a comment that stated:

Noah may have brought some dinosaurs with him on the Ark.

That was a new one on me. The commenter went on to explain, “I believe everything incapable of surviving a worldwide flood was preserved aboard the Ark.” Okay, I see how believing that statement could lead to the previous one. [I do not, however, consider either statement to be scientific.] But I wonder then, what happened to the dinosaurs after the flood? Does he believe they were hunted to extinction?

Regrettably, I didn’t see the discussion until a couple weeks after it was posted. I asked the question anyway, but I’m not hopeful I’ll get an answer there. How about here? Anyone have similar beliefs?

Thy Name is Folly

Posted by Tim at 19:40 on 2008/09/08
Sep 082008

It looks like Hurricane Ike is going to miss Central Florida. Of course, the Gulf coast area where it seems to be headed doesn’t need it any more than we do. The other night someone told me that if her son Kyle is any indication then Hurricane Kyle is likely to be the most destructive of this season.

“You know,” I told her, “some teachers can’t have children because they’ve run out of names that they don’t hate….”

Really. Sometimes I slay me….

And I don’t remember whether I ever passed on this bit of wisdom that I read over the summer:

Electricity come from electrons. Morality comes from morons.

Fie on Fay

Posted by Tim at 19:02 on 2008/08/18
Aug 182008

Today was the first day of classes… and tomorrow the schools will be closed. Tropical Storm Fay is tracking its way toward Central Florida.

In a way, it’s like deja-vu for the hurricane season of a few years ago. This time the storm is not expected to reach hurricane status before barreling over top of us. But it IS expected to barrel over top of us. Even if it had stayed in the Gulf and made landfall further north (as it was projected to do for a while) we would have been subjected to high winds, lots of rain, and a good chance of tornadic activity.

As I write this, the eye is less than 300 miles away. It will probably be right over us late tomorrow night. So there’s a pretty good chance we will miss more than just one day of school. [The calendar already has several days identified as make-up days; we have learned a thing or two about scheduling around the unpredictable....]

At this point, all we can do is hunker down and hope that the damage is minimal. And, as long as I have electricity, I guess I’ll get to watch some more of the Olympics….

It Sounds Dirty When You Say It Like That

Posted by Tim at 18:42 on 2008/08/06
Aug 062008

I am always sometimes critical of the blocking software used by school districts. [Recently here, for example.]

Imagine this:

I’m at work. I go to Google and search for “Magna Cum Laude”.

Imagine my surprise. The search results are blocked.

The reason?

Porn.

Yup.

You gotta love the system!

Em I Ess Ess I Txt U Not

Posted by Tim at 22:59 on 2008/07/29
Jul 292008

A school district in southern Mississippi [a state which, let's face it, has never been considered a leader in education...] recently adopted a new policy prohibiting teachers from texting students or communicating with students through social networking sites like Myspace or Facebook. What I found intriguing about the policy as reported here were the statements:

No incident led to the policy, which was enacted at the suggestion of the school board attorney. The board has yet to set penalties for violating the policy.

OK. So they’re trying to be proactive, getting a policy in place before a problem develops. I can’t really fault them for that. [Especially in light of the recent spate of reports of sexual misconduct between teachers and students.] But prohibiting communication? …I’ll come back to this.

How stupid is it to have such a policy without clearly stated consequences? [Just wait till your principal gets home....] Supremely so. Maybe that lawyer really didn’t have enough to do [as suggested in the comments to the article] and is expecting an avalanche of challenges from teachers, parents, and students.

Another [important] point not addressed in the article [but asked in the comments] is how they plan to enforce the policy. [It's only wrong if you get caught....] Furthermore, while the nature of teacher-student communication must always be professional, do they really have the authority to control the form of that communication outside of regular school hours and off school property?

Besides, don’t they know that those electronic communications can easily be copied and backed up so there is a record of exactly what was said by whom and when? [Probably not] Wouldn’t it make more sense to encourage documenting all exchanges with students?

Unfortunately, it’s typical of school systems all over and not entirely their fault. Large bureaucracies like public schools tend to be slow to change. Add hysterical media reports of online predators and legislation [like COPA which tried to restrict online access by minors and a more recent proposal to block social networking sites in libraries] and prohibition becomes the de facto course of action. Even when it runs contrary to other goals.

The district where I teach has [among others] these Technology Standards for Students:

  • Students use telecommunications to collaborate, publish, and interact with peers, experts, and other audiences.
  • Students use a variety of media and formats to communicate information and ideas effectively to multiple audiences.

And yet they routinely block access to blogs, wikis, webmail, social networking, and interactive media sites. Some standards are more challenging to achieve than others….

Prohibiting text messages from teachers to students eliminates legitimate uses of the technology too: verifying homework assignments, for example. Shouldn’t we be trying to reach students through technologies they are comfortable with and are therefore likely to use? More importantly, shouldn’t we be teaching students how to use technology safely and appropriately?

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